Bullying 101: What You Need to Know if Your Child is Being Bullied
Statistics show that one out of every four school children in the United States has been bullied. Prolonged and unchecked, bullying can contribute to depression, anxiety, and other emotional problems for the victim. In extreme cases, bullying can lead to thoughts of suicide.
For a parent trying to help their child deal with bullies, it’s important to get the facts when deciding the best course of action.
What Is Bullying?
Bullying is defined as aggressive behavior between children. This behavior has two distinguishing features:
- The behaviors happen repeatedly.
- Threats, teasing, spreading rumors, and exclusion are common tactics bullies use to assert their power over victims.
The aggressor uses their power to control another child. Types of bullying include verbal, physical, and cyber-bullying.
Peer conflict is a natural part of child development and should not be confused with bullying. Bullying is not:
- An isolated act of aggression or confrontation.
- A child who doesn’t like you.
- Accidents, forgetfulness, or clumsiness.
- The desire to control the rules of cooperative play.
What Can a Parent Do?
Our parental instincts tell us to use whatever power we have to protect our offspring. But instead of immediately calling a meeting of every teacher, parent, and school administrator involved, use the opportunity to teach your child some important life skills.
- Make a list of problematic behaviors used by the bullies. Organize the list into three categories: Ignore, Confront, and Get Help. Things like name-calling or funny looks can be ignored with enough willpower. Actions like touching or other invasions of personal space can be confronted with a firm declaration of their boundaries (ex. Don’t touch my hair.). Potentially harmful behavior like pushing or hitting requires adult intervention.
- Have your child make a list of people at school who will help if problems with bullies occur. Your child’s teacher, a counselor, or other favorite staff members will gladly be the on-site safe haven for your little one.
- If attempts to stop the aggressive behaviors don’t work, it’s time to talk to school officials. Schedule a meeting with the school principal. Bring your child’s lists. This will help you come up with a strategy for confronting the issue.
What Can a Child Do?
Some simple self-defense techniques can help your child protect themselves if confronted by bullies.
- Teasing has less effect on confident people. Teach your child to appreciate their unique strengths.
- Speak to bullies in a calm yet strong voice. Clearly state your boundaries and ask that they be respected.
- If the conflict becomes physical, instruct your child to run away. If they can’t get away, make enough noise to attract the attention of others nearby.
- Tell them to never be afraid to get help. Shame and fear are powerful emotions verbally abusive bullies use to control their victims.
Challenge bullies with boundaries, self-respect, and a strong support system to protect your child’s emotional health.
Is Your Child Overscheduled? What to Do if They Are
It’s no secret that American adults are overworked. US workers clock in a whopping 47 hours per week at their jobs, more than any other country in the world. Grown-ups aren’t the only ones putting in overtime. A recent survey found that 41 percent of respondents between the ages of 9 and 13 felt overworked.
Do you have an overscheduled child? Here are some ideas on how to help them cope with the demands of multiple obligations and still find time to enjoy childhood.
There is no rule on how many extracurricular activities your child should be engaged in at any given time. These guidelines will help you decide if you need to pull back.
- Is your child always busy? Does it seem like they never have time to just relax and enjoy themselves?
- Does your child suffer from mood swings, or are they grumpy, anxious, or easily irritated?
- Are your child’s grades starting to suffer? This is one of the first signs of an overscheduled child.
- Is your child getting enough sleep? Do they seem constantly tired or unfocused?
Help your child keep up with their commitments with some simple scheduling techniques.
- Prioritize. Sit down with your child and make a list of their responsibilities. Then rearrange the list, putting the most important activities at the top.
- Plan. Use a calendar to create a visual map of time requirements. Be sure to include things like travel time, breaks, and sleep.
- Balance. If you’re having a hard time fitting everything in, you may need to consider withdrawing your child from lower-priority activities.
- Insist on family time. Whether it’s daily dinners or game nights, give regular family time the highest priority.
10 Tips on Good Parenting
Parenting involves a certain amount of discretion. There is no one standard rule for all children. Different children may need different levels of attention, expressions of love, and toughness. Suppose I was standing in a coconut garden and you asked me, “How much water per plant?” I would say, “At least 50 liters per plant.”
When you go home, if you give 50 liters to your rose plant, it will die. You must see what kind of plant you have in your house and what it needs. - Courtesy of Huffington Post
1. A Child is a Privilege
It is a privilege that this child — this bundle of joy — has come through you and arrived in your house. Children are not your property; they do not belong to you. Just see how to enjoy, nurture, and support them. Don’t try to make them an investment for your future.
2. Let Them Be
Let them become whatever they have to become. Don’t try to mold them according to your understanding of life. Your child need not do what you did in your life. Your child should do something that you did not even dare to think in your life. Only then will the world progress.
3. True Love
People misunderstand that loving their children is to cater to whatever they ask for. If you get them everything they ask for, it is stupidity. When you are loving, you can do just whatever is needed. When you truly love someone, you are willing to be unpopular and still do what is best for them.
4. There’s No Hurry to Grow Up
It is very important a child remains a child; there is no hurry to make him into an adult because you can’t reverse it later. When he is a child and he behaves like a child, it is wonderful. When he becomes an adult and behaves like a child, that is bad. There is no hurry for a child to become an adult.
5. It is Time to Learn, Not Teach
What do you know about life to teach your children? A few survival tricks are the only things you can teach. Please compare yourself with your child and see who is capable of more joy. Your child, isn’t it? If he knows more joy than you, who is better qualified to be a consultant about life, you or him?
When a child arrives, it is time to learn, not teach. When there is a child, unknowingly you laugh, play, sing, crawl under the sofa, and do all those things that you had forgotten to do. So, it is time to learn about life.
6. Children Are Naturally Spiritual
Children are very close to a spiritual possibility if only they are not meddled with. Generally, either the parents, teachers, society, television — somebody or the other meddles with them too much. Create an atmosphere where this meddling is minimized and a child is encouraged to grow into his intelligence rather than into your identity of religion, race, culture or nation. The child will become naturally spiritual without even knowing the word spirituality as it is natural for human intelligence to seek, the important thing to do is not provide standard answers.
7. Provide A Supportive and Loving Atmosphere
If you set an example of fear and anxiety, how can you expect your children to live in joy? They will also learn the same thing. The best thing you can do is to create a joyous and loving atmosphere.
8. Maintain A Friendly Relationship
Stop imposing yourself on the child and create a strong friendship rather than being a boss. Don’t sit on a pedestal and tell the child what he or she should do. Place yourself below the child so that it is easy for them to talk to you.
9. Avoid Seeking Respect
Love is what you seek with your children, isn’t it? But many parents say, “You must respect me.” You came a few years early, are bigger in body, and you know a few survival tricks, but in what way are you a better life than him?
10. Make Yourself Truly Attractive
A child is influenced by so many things — the TV, neighbors, teachers, school, and a million other things. He will go the way of whatever he finds most attractive. As a parent, you have to make yourself in a way that the most attractive thing he finds is to be with the parents. If you are a joyous, intelligent, and wonderful person, he won’t seek company anywhere else. For anything, he will come and ask you.
If you are genuinely interested in giving your children a good upbringing, you should first transform yourself into a peaceful, loving and blissful human being.
4 Ways to Manage You and Your Child’s Emotions During the Fall Frenzy
Autumn is a time of transition. Just as students are getting comfortable with the new school year, Daylight Savings Time disrupts our schedules. Unpredictable weather patterns, special events, and a steady stream of visitors further upset our plans. The constant changes stress all members of the family unit.
Transition and Change